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5 Ways To Get Rich Without Doing Anything

5 Ways To Get Rich Without Doing Anything


Listen, there’s no reason why any of us should have a job at this point. It’s 2019, and I’ve got video games to play. So, I spent the day traveling the world, talking to the biggest business moguls and learning all of their wisdom. There’s one big secret that they all taught me: they worked a lot. And I want none of that.

If you’re as passionate as I am about doing as little as possible with your life, then get excited for some real nuggets of wisdom. Here are five things you can do right now to get rich while never leaving your couch. You might have to lift a finger though; sorry for the clickbait.

1. Just ask

Do you know how many rich people there are in the world? Like, not that many compared to everyone else, but still a lot of them! If you just make a few email templates, you can send hundreds of emails asking them for just a fraction of their cold, hard cash. I’ll even give you a template, free of charge!

“Dear Elon Musk,

I love your rockets and that you care so much about cars with electricity. I would love to buy some, but unfortunately, I don’t have the money! : ( If you would be so kind as to take some of your time to forward me, say, just a couple million dollars, I would be so grateful that I would buy so many Teslas from you!

Anyway, nice chatting with you. Hope you’re doing well, pal!”

2. Be a prince

Okay so if you’re not rich yet, why not just pretend to be rich? Do you know how many emails I get from princes with 12 million dollars they want to wire into my account? That’s a lot of princes! Okay, yeah, this is fraud and you probably shouldn’t do it unless you like prison and tarnishing the good name of Jesus. BUT FORTUNE FAVORS THE BOLD, BABY! Besides, if you give like, half of the money to your church, I’m sure God will understand, right? The ends justify the means after all!

You know what, I’m not even going to write you a template. Here’s a copy/paste from my junk folder.
Update: My junk folder is empty. I’m just going to type one up from Google.

Dear Beloved Friend,

I know this message will come to you as surprised but permit me of my desire to go into business relationship with you. I am Miss Naomi Surugaba a daughter to late Al-badari Surugaba of Libya whom was murdered during the recent civil war in Libya in March 2011, before his death my late father was a strong supporter and member of late Moammar Gadhafi Government in Tripoli. Meanwhile before the incident, my late Father came to Cotonou Benin republic with the sum of USD4, 200,000.00 (US$4.2M) which he deposited in a Bank here in Cotonou Benin Republic —

OKAY OKAY! this is too much work and there’s no way I’m writing out this whole thing! Just typing this is becoming harder than getting a job.

3. Use a Pyra- uh, never mind.

4. Inspire your friends to find their entrepreneurial spirit!

If asking nicely and fraudulently still didn’t work for you, then you’re doing something wrong. However, hope is not lost! Instead of working, why not get people to work for you? That’s right, just get enough people to buy and sell the products you aren’t selling and your bank account will be full to the brim! Just like their basements! You’re going to need some new friends after a couple of months, though.

5. Give your money to me

Listen very carefully to what I am about to say. The following is going to change your life. If you give me $20, I will give you $5 from everyone else that gives me $20. If one million people give, then you will have FIVE MILLION DOLLARS. You will be rich! And you can trust me! There’s no reason to think, pray, or talk to your local government agency. I’ve taken care of everything. You just need to live and give the way I’ve intended for you. Let’s be rich, together.

Happy April Fool’s Day! (My lawyer told me to write this)

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